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THE WISHBONE ORACLE - the HistoryBirds were once regarded as sacred intermediaries between the gods in heaven and the rest of the mundane world. The appearance of some birds became omens and the entrails of dead birds were often read for lengthier fortunetelling than merely a favorable "yes" or unfavorable "no" to a question. Even the word "contemplate" comes from watching which direction a bird may fly by a "templum" or sacred column.
The ritual of breaking a dried furcula (wishbone) for fortune-telling dates back to the Etruscans who as early as 322 B.C. decided many of their political issues by omens and portents. The original bone used was that of a hen rather than a turkey. Because a hen "predicts" the arrival of an egg with a loud squawk or cluck (and a rooster announces a new day by crowing), the chicken was considered to have special fortunetelling abilities. The form of divination known as "alectryomancy" was similar to the modern Ouija board in the way it was practiced. A large circle drawn on the ground was divided into 24 sections corresponding to the 24 letters of the Etruscan alphabet. Grains of corn were placed into each section and a hen dropped into the center was allowed to "choose" which grains of corn to peck. Her uncanny ability allowed her to produce sequences of letters that would answer questions put to the oracle.
After fulfilling the "hunt and peck" method of fortune-telling, the not-so-lucky hen was sacrificed and the collar bone removed and dried in the sun. It was believed that this bone (in the shape of life's repository, the human crotch) still had magical powers and an individual could still have his or her wish granted by stroking the dried "furcula." Sometime later, during the equally superstitious Roman period, the bone was broken in a tug of war-which is believed to be an early instance of market's supply and demand: too many people wishing for favors from too few sacred bones.
When the English got hold of this quaint practice, they called wishbones "merrythoughts" for the wishes they brought and expressions like "lucky break," "I never get a break," and even "short end of the stick" came into common usage.
The pilgrims imported "merrythoughts" into the new world, but in deference to the exotic native bird found in the New England woods, the custom was changed to a Turkey bone and quickly became part of the American holiday, Thanksgiving. We all know that Ben Franklin had proposed the smart wild turkey as the national bird (which might have kept us out of a few wars . . .), but very few in our fast food culture of today with pre-sliced, pre-cooked, subcutaneously basted and pop-up thermometered Thanksgiving dinners, realize that the turkey furcula still posseses rare powers. If handled properly and the bone-pull performed without cheating or upperhandedness, the Turkey bone can predict the future with ten times the accuracy of a newspaper horoscope; 100 times the accuracy of the Dow Jones Industrials and with over a thousand times the clarity of "visions" in an election year . . .
So try it yourself next holiday.
How to Consult the Wishbone - TechniqueBe sure to carefully extract the wishbone from the rest of the breast before everyone leaves with platefuls of leftovers. The peaceful properties of turkey (known clinically as Triptophane) can lead to carelessness with the carcass, so be very vigilant when you see an older brother or cousin with the carving knife . . . Once you have removed the bone, pick off the loose pieces of meat and rinse it in fresh water. Do not use any detergents or scrub pads! Natural drying is always much better for fotunetelling as it allows the furcula to gather more of the mystic effluvia in the air. Some experts disagree whether a south-facing window or a west window gives better results for hanging the bone to dry. A ribbon from a recent birthday gift or one worn on a special occasion is usually best for suspending the bone from its apex at least six inches from the sill. The two prongs should ALWAYS be pointing down (unless you are a follower of the Dark Arts) and no garlic must be present within three feet. Again, there are some who claim the furcula must be allowed to rotate like a pendulum, but there is no reference to this in the original Etruscan manuals. )  YOU MUST WAIT FIVE OR SEVEN DAYS (not six or four) FOR THE BONE TOACQUIRE FULL POTENCY (and dryness). Remove the bone from its suspension point using an old handkerchief and do not allow either of the bone-pullers or querents to touch the bone prior to the pull. In fact, like tarot cards, it is best not to have anyone directly touch the bone till it is placed into play. There are several variations on how the oracle may now be consulted. Some adepts recommend blindfolds; others simply three full turns by each querent before reaching for the bone. The IMPORTANT thing, however, is to allow a full minute (60 seconds) for the querents to calm down and reflect carefully on a wish or question. It is recommended that wishes be written down on a small piece of paper and then folded three times before placing it in a left pocket. The Presiding One (sometimes known as the alpha parent) must then ensure there is complete quiet in the room and no harmful influences like a television or computer screen to produce moving shadows in the background. Ideally, the furcula should be offered at roughly shoulder height or an average between the two querents in the center of the room. Both must be instructed that there will be a count of three before any pulling begins and then the furcula must be offered so that the two prongs can be gripped by no more than the thumb and forefinger of one hand. Use of the left hand was once consider sinister in such undertakings but in our more progressive era, left and right are considered to have equal weight or ambi-clairvoyant. Sudden tugs, twists or upward thrusts do not necessarily disqualify a querent or nullify the results of the oracle. The lingering suspense of a long even pull, however, is considered not only good etiquette but further charges the atmosphere into a very good augury. If performed properly, fortunes and wishes granted by the Furcula are virtually guaranteed. The time frame for their realization may be extensive for the really big wishes and questions, but they will surely come about. Some querents prefer to avoid specific wishes or questions and seek a more general understanding or their future prospects and proclivities. In this case, there are specific meanings attached to whether one gets the short end or long end of the bone. These divinatory meanings appearing on the next page can be read in full by consulting the Wishbone web-page at www.wishbonerestaurant.com. Opinions by Paracelsus, Nostradamus, Madam Blavatsky, Alester Crowley and Buddy Bufort (of Floral, AK) among others are featured on the site. Please note that the Simulacra Furculae (or practice bones) provided with this booklet do NOT have all the divinatory power of an actual turkey bone but special steps have been taken to ensure that some residual powers have been imparted to them. Our chef, Joel Nickson, has blessed these bones with a paring knife and all have spent at least one full week in a Wishbone kitchen and particularly on Thursdays when fresh turkey is prepared. The mystical effluvia has been elevated for practice at home and all are guaranteed to break with at least some of the divinatory meanings still intact. IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT SMALL CHILDREN UNDER 10 BE SUPERVISED BY A PARENT WHEN HANDLING THESE OR PERFORMING AN ORACULAR PULL.
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What It Means When You Receive The Short End . . .You believe in fortune-telling more than you let on. In your book, letting someone win or even cheat doesn't make you a loser. Even with the "short end of the stick" you can be philosophical in order to rise above any set-back or find the silver lining in the driest dog turd. Possessed of a more timid and sensitive nature. You favor raw vegetables and salads over red meat and chicken. Snacking can be a problem, but small rewards for all you put up with are certainly justified. You can be very obstinate but you will never think so. You drive smaller, gas efficient cars. Negatives: People may call you manipulative or a martyr-which is the ultimate form of manipulation. You are excessive in giving presents and unwritten obligations. When you sink into moodiness or a prolonged sulk, you become even more upset when no one can guess what's bothering you. The worst epithet you can imagine is "creep." You tend to turn statements into questions for no reason-like, "it's beautiful, isn't it?"  Relationships: You prefer one on one relationships more than groups. A big marriage is important, but not necessarily kids. What strangers think of you can sometimes blind you to the importance of those closest to you. Engagements are meant to take time, but you must avoid relations with people who claim to be more confused or indecisive than you. Never use the word "boring" out loud. You tend to think you are the glue or centripetal force holding things together, but this is an illusion. Compliments must be used sparingly before they become "passive aggression." It is better to throw away old photos than to leave elbows or shoulders of those you have cut from your life. You will outlive your spouse by at least five years and will have prepared a shrine for memories years earlier in preparation. You will do better with fire and air signs, though a fellow Aquarian will exasperate and in introverted Leo will feel like life as a mirror for a bird. Your lucky numbers are 2,4, 8, 15, and 22. Money & Work: What you get is what you earn and the few lotto tickets you buy are not taken seriously. You are responsible and good about saving, but something always comes up that prevents you from taking that vacation or special evening. It is never your fault and you resent those who have more fun being irresponsible with their money. You are best suited to banking, accounting, pathology in medicine, and mechanical engineering. If you must pursue teaching, you will choose the elementary grades. Avoid social work and psychology that you will invariably practice at home. Answer to your Question: Is "no," but you will find a way to twist this into a maybe or yes or you will want to snap another wishbone in confirmation because you may have done it wrong. BACK TO TOP
THE LONG END
What It Means When You Get The Long End . . . besides your wishWINNER! (Gol, gol, gol!) Not that you take fortune-telling seriously, since you may have put more leverage on the side of the bone you grasped. But there it is: things come naturally to you and you know how to seize opportunities. You are gregarious and have an expansive personality that takes risks. You are loud in groups and quite ill at ease when a moment of silence passes in an intimate conversation. You're not really as confident as you let on, but when others refer to you as an "anal orifice," you don't get too upset because you know they're just jealous of your right of way. You claim the SUV you drive is for safety reasons only, but we know better. The higher ground is worth the extra gas. MONEY & WORK: You are not suited for the service economy except insofar as you can come up with a new concept for the suckers. You like to take risks and this means your fortunes rise and fall precipitously, but you always have enough on the side for a good time. In temperament, you like the clarity of the military life, but don't like taking orders that don't make sense. In medicine, you would do better as a surgeon than a GP where you might have to listen to the patient. The ideal is being a middle man and handling sales You're a good closer, but must watch turning off future prospects by telling the same joke over and over and not watching details. You like keeping a hundred dollar bill in your wallet. RELATIONSHIPS: If male, you will discover you're in a relationship long after it's begun and out of a relationship long after it's ended. That is, the subtleties of spoken and unspoken communication escape you. If female, you have the good fortune to believe people love you naturally and if they don't, they're not worth it anyway. An elopement may be called for if wedding plans get too complicated, but a large wedding is preferable. You are more impulsive than a planner. But make sure you have a good lawyer before considering divorce. You would like to have more than one child, and are willing to sacrifice for their sakes as long as you have time at the beauty parlor or club for yourself. Paying too much attention to external details will lead to unpleasant discoveries later on. Cheating is not out of the question when ends justify the means. You will do well with all earth and water signs. Your numbers are 1,7, 9, 11, and 21. Answer to Question: A resounding "Yes." But make sure you didn't ask a trick question or one where the answer can be more than you bargained for. BACK TO TOP
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